Some suggestions to keep in mind when setting rules and consequences for your kids and alcohol:
Be a Parent, Not a Friend.
When parents monitor, supervise and set boundaries their teens are at a lowered risk for using drugs and alcohol.
Consequences: Health & Future.
Make sure your tween/teen knows the serious and possible long term consequences of alcohol to their health and future. And be certain to highlight how it could negatively impact college acceptances.
Make it clear that you do not want your child drinking alcohol and that you trust them not to.
Set firm but reasonable rules such as curfew, expecting to be notified when plans change and knowing at all times where your teen will be.
Tell your kids (more than once) the consequences of alcohol use, both legal and medical, and be clear about what you will do if the rules regarding this are broken.
Get the facts.
It is easy to react out of that fear, frustration, and anger, but you can do harm to your connection if you accuse your child of wrongdoing without actual proof.
Every so often, discuss your family rules and expectations. Acknowledge peer pressure and take it to the next step by doing some problem solving. For example, “What are you going to do if you are out with your friends and someone offers you alcohol?”
Be Clear & Concise.
Tell your kids that underage drinking is not a teen rite of passage and is not an excusable teen experience. Clearly state that in fact everyone is not using alcohol.
The Family Impact.
Be specific about the consequences your teen and their bad decisions have upon the family as a whole, especially the impact on their younger siblings who often look to them as how to act.
One of the most important things about consequences is to use them as a response to your child’s behavior, not to your child themselves. Show respect and caring, all kids (teens too) need to feel your love. This way your child will know that they are precious and safe – even when you’re using consequences.
Visit our helpful resources in the parent tool kit to get support in setting rules and repercussions for kids.